This song is really good, and also seemed poignant after my earlier post.
I cannot fulfill your heart tonight
I love the way you sleep when you’re angry
The way the moon reflects such a beautiful light
I’ve got my thoughts wrapped up in you
I’ve got my head all messed up with you
So, tell me what I gotta do
Tell me what I gotta do
To be a better man
Tell me what I gotta be
Tell me what I gotta be
To be the best I can
So, tell me what I can do
Tell me what I can do
To be better for you
The feeling comes and goes, but the more I consider it, the more I feel as if I am undeserving of enjoying the affection of a woman so perfect and, herself, deserving.
By what justification can an imperfect man bask in the glow of consummate female perfection? To attempt to bind an aspirational but flawed perfection to the ranks of the beautiful, the brilliant, the eternally considerate, seems an unfair burden, and one which the latter should never be suffered to endure.
I can rely on but one thing: the infinite grace and consideration inherent in that high rank of woman, an enduring if unsteady star in a field of darkness, guiding me north to brighter days—my Polaris, star of salvation.
This song is my latest obsession. My favorite line is the fourth.
My horizon, jet black mountain, you’re crumbling into the sea
And little city, you’re still so young, but you got so dirty
Hey, old ocean, are you still holding on? You look so sad and empty
Fires burning, forests falling, for evergreen, forever gone
I’ll say a prayer for the trees by the side of the road
For the deer in the headlights and the ashes of the fire, still growing
I’ll say goodbye to the lives of the aquamarine
The catch of the day, and moonlight swimming
The heat on my back, like two hands
More likely to give than to receive
Standing on the side of the highway
Taking shelter in the shade of the last big tree for miles around
There are fires burning for miles around
Ashes to the ground… There are fires burning for miles around
I am thoroughly impressed by each new song that I hear off of Said The Whale’s latest full-length album, Howe Sounds/Taking Abalonia. This one is no exception.
When it’s so dark I can’t see the light
Well, I close my eyes and I think of you
Teddy bear, honeybee, don’t forget that
You love me more than the stars over your head
Just as your love shines like the moon
Full and bright and blinding through into my heart, into my head
When it’s so dark I can’t see the light
Well, I close my eyes and I think of you
My lil’ love, my only girl, I wouldn’t leave you for all the world
I’d just sit and wait for your moon to rise
When it’s so dark I can’t see the light
Well, I close my eyes and I think of you
When it’s so dark I can’t see the light, well, I think of you
But it’s so dark, I can see the light shining through you
We used to get The Patriot Ledger delivered to the house, but my dad canceled our subscription, probably about a year ago. That newspaper has really gone downhill in the past few years. Instead of news, it’s mostly big images, chunky text, useless graphic design, and features lacking newsworthiness. About the only section that’s still noteworthy is the Business section, which is probably due to the fact that Jon Chesto, a Wesleyan alumnus, is the Business Editor.
While in high school, I used to read the Ledger just about every night after dinner. In the summer, I’d read it in the early mornings, after I got home from nights out with friends and before I went to sleep. I resurrect the habit over school breaks, because my dad usually picks up a copy of the Ledger or the Herald for me to read. While both papers are rags compared to my regular, the New York Times, they both have crosswords and Sudoku. I’ve been spending an hour or two most nights trying to complete them. I still can’t complete Sudoku puzzles harder than “moderate” and I still have yet to finish an entire crossword puzzle, but I’m getting there.
Aside from the puzzles, the Ledger had two interesting tidbits over the past few days.
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Most, or perhaps all, of my attempts at writing something comprehensive and meaningful have failed lately, because it’s become very difficult to place my experiences and feelings into one overarching narrative. While at school, it’s somewhat easier, because I am in a routine and have obligations and schedules and interactions and reflections. In contrast, my Winter Break thus far has presented me with no obligations, no schedule, fewer interactions, and far too much sleep to allow much time for meaningful reflection on even the largely inconsequential events of my daily life.
In my attempt to break through this writer’s block, I am going to skip the narrative frame and just write. Hence, this entry will be random and maybe even, at times, incoherent. Rest assured, though, that those two qualities provide a very accurate description of my mental state at the moment.
So, without further ado…
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I kept a kind of journal while down in New Orleans this past summer, in which I sometimes wrote entries and, much more often, jotted brief notes of my feelings, activities, and daily expenses. Here are a few of the early writings from that trip, starting on the plane and progressing to my first and second days in New Orleans. In the future, I’ll probably post more of what I wrote in the notebook, but a lot of what I wrote is either too personal or too incoherent to warrant posting it.
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I don’t have a long list of sites that I check daily; it’s probably just Weather Underground, TD Ameritrade, Wesleying, the New York Times, LiveJournal, Facebook, and AppleInsider. The ads on most of them are nonexistent or manageable. I’ve been using Wunderground for so long that, although its pages are plastered with ads, I can easily skim right over them without giving them a thought. TD Ameritrade and Wesleying and LiveJournal have no ads, and the ads displayed by Facebook and the NYT are also pretty easy to ignore (although, I must admit, the singles ads that Facebook hosts occasionally include photos of some pretty hot women).
But that is not the point of this blog entry.
No. The point of this entry is to complain about the banner ad that you see above, which has lately been appearing at AppleInsider and—I’m quite sure—contains the most annoying and irrelevant animated image that has ever plagued my computer screen. Perhaps that’s somewhat of an exaggeration, but something about the banner and its animation always pisses me off, not least because I’m sure I’ve seen it all around the Internet.
You may have seen it, too. The silhouette of a woman’s side, frantically zoomed in and out, over and over again with no end. It’s constantly moving, and unavoidable. My eye is drawn to it every time, and then my brain inevitably becomes involved. How does this animation apply to a bachelor’s degree? Is this woman clothed? Why is the simulated camera darting forward and backward? Why is she touching herself? Does she ever get an RSI? And why are the clouds moving so fast?
And why, oh why, does it have to be so ferociously distracting?
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