Last week, I took my résumé back to the CRC for approval, and had it edited by the brusque—but helpful—Jim. After some formatting changes and the (rather disappointing) removal of my entire high school record of achievement, I figure that my résumé [PDF, 56 KB] is as done as it’ll ever be.
The version linked above is for web readers only, and leaves out my address and phone number. Stalkers, go away.
I arrived back from class on Wednesday afternoon to find a sickly yellow piece of paper on my unmade bed. It was a lovely notice from Campus Fire Safety, which had conducted an inspection of my house while I was in class.
The pus-colored sheet informed me that Fire Safety inspectors had found something illegal in my room, and had confiscated it. Luckily, though they stole my sparklers, I only received a warning for the violation, rather than the $500 fine that I’ll presumably get the next time they find such “incendiary devices” or “fireworks” in my room.
Anyway, I think I’m going to petition to get them back, and make sure that they stay out of plain view in the future. This is not a matter on which I’m content to let The Man win, even if the sparklers only cost around $5.
This is song is utter trash. Completely hilarious, entirely addictive, utter trash.
Hey, you’re a crazy bitch
But you fuck so good, I’m on top of it
When I dream, I’m doing you all night
Scratches all down my back to keep me right on
It’s just about done! My résumé [PDF, 68 KB], that is.
After having it (rightfully) ripped apart by the very intelligent Amy at the Career Resource Center (CRC), I have improved and revised the document. While I think it’s about as perfect as it’s going to get—aesthetically and in terms of language—I am always open to suggestions. Leave ‘em below, if you have any.
Barring any further edits, this is what I’m going to submit to the CRC for approval later this week. The only difference in the online copy linked above is that it omits a bit of personal information that Internet stalkers do not need to see.
Oh, if only jobs were based solely on how well a résumé is prepared. I could be our next president.
Lana Gay, the host of Lanarama, just mentioned me live on CBC Radio 3! This reminds me of the time, back in June, when Tariq Hussain also gave me some radio exposure.
I left a comment on Lana’s blog entry, telling her—in true Halloween fashion—what movie I’ve found the scariest…
Aside from Jurassic Park when I was little, the only movie that’s ever given me a real scare was 28 Days Later.
One of the opening scenes, where the monkey leaps out of its cage and latches onto the woman’s face… and the camera jolts and the film takes on a deep red cast… is pretty scary.
Seeing someone get mauled by an angry monkey and then vomiting blood from a head jerking violently around? Sure to give a scare!
… and she read that on live radio! Pretty nifty, I’d say.
Also—and in a totally unrelated vein—could this woman be the world’s biggest bitch? I think she just may be.
Maybe listening to la musique québécoise is a good way to bone up on my lapsed French skills.
Non t’as pas finis ton assiette
Mais tu manges encore
Tu manges mon coeur!
Plus t’en manges plus tu payes
Mon coeur est rempli de haine envers toiNo, you haven’t finished your plate
But you are still eating
You are eating my heart!
The more you eat, the more you pay
My heart is filled with hatred towards youOh comment, oh comment
Comment faire pour te dire
Que je t’aime en silence
Mais tu peux rien direOh how, oh how
How to tell you
That I love you in silence
But you can’t say anythingOh comment, oh comment
Comment faire pour décrire
Ton visage amusant
En un seul soupireOh how, oh how
How to describe
Your funny face
In a single sighNon t’as pas finis ton assiette
Mais tu manges encore
Tu manges mon coeur!
Plus t’en manges plus tu payes
Mon coeur est rempli de haine envers toiJe suis ton plat favori
Le sang sur ton bistouri
Je suis ton plat favori
Le sang sur ton bistouri
Et non, non, tu comprends pas!I am your favorite dish
The blood on your lancet
I am your favorite dish
The blood on your lancet
And no, no, you don’t understand!Non t’as pas finis ton assiette
Mais tu manges encore
Tu manges mon coeur!
Plus t’en manges plus tu payes
Mon coeur est rempli de haine envers toi
Every Thursday I put the trash and the recycling out to the curb, and every Friday I take it in. Some Fridays, though, I go out the door to find the recycling bin all the way up the stairs, and the trash barrel put back near the bottom of the steps, away from the curb. I had always been wondering who was moving them; on Fridays, I’m usually one of the first ones up, and none of my housemates admitted to moving the containers. Then, last Friday, it hit me. There was a ring of the doorbell at 9:30—no one got out of bed to answer it because, well, we’re college students and, really, who comes to the door at 9:30 AM?
Leaving for work about 20 minutes later, I noticed a pamphlet under the door. I don’t think it even said anything about the Jehovah’s Witnesses, but it was published by the Watch Tower Bible and Tract Society, which is the official organ of the Witnesses. And the recycling bin was on the front step. Bingo! I don’t even mind bringing in the trash and recycling containers, but hey, thanks, Jehovah’s Witnesses. I think your religion is ridiculous (only 144,000 in heaven, okthxbye), but you’re awfully nice to bring my recycling container all the way up from the street.
I’ve had a profile on OkCupid since March. Back when I was more invested in the site, I answered 954 of the questions that are used to judge users’ personalities. OkCupid analyzes the results as users answer more questions, and gives “Personality Awards” based on that analysis. These are little icons that supposedly indicate which side of a personality trait users fall on (e.g. “more aggressive” or “less friendly”).
I often notice them shifting—award icons will disappear, reappear, or change. But tonight, here’s what OkCupid thinks I am:
From left to right, that’s More Ambitious, More Cocky, Less Compassionate, Less Dorky, More Economically Free, Less Socially Free, More Friendly, Less Indie, More Extroverted, Less Kinky, Less Literary, Less Desiring of Love, More Optimistic, More of a Planner, More Desiring of Sex, Less Sloppy, More Emotional, and More Political.
I often see More Competitive and More Aggressive in there, too. While I take issue with a lot of those, I nevertheless think it’s interesting to see how quantitative psychological profiles measure up against one’s self-perceptions and others’ perceptions of one’s self. In my case, I’d give OkCupid around a 72% accuracy rate—not counting, of course, those traits that it’s left out.
We, um, “acquired” a McCain-Palin yard sign on Saturday night. We then used said sign in a series of photos involving an assault rifle, a chain of bullets, and a blow-up doll named Sarah Jessica Porkher. A carton of chocolate milk and a synthetic beard and wig also played supporting roles. Overall, it was a fun-filled weekend; Fall Break has provided a much-needed reminder of what relaxation feels like.
More to come.
I have been running low on storage space for a while now. I was considering moving all my episodes of Greek and Californication off of my external hard drive and onto DVDs, saving lots of space. But that would involve bringing my drive into work, buying DVDs, and burning them. Then I considered micromanaging my media: deleting cached files in Unreal, deleting the New Music Canada podcasts that I didn’t particularly like… even deleting the new Miles Davis albums that I’ve acquired.
Instead, I opted for a more long-term solution: a new external hard drive.
I last expanded my storage space in 2006. Back then, I had only the 80 GB of 5,400 RPM internal storage that came with my PowerBook G4. In March, I bought a 250 GB FireWire 800/400 drive from Other World Computing, and have been satisfied since. I used it to store music, movies, TV shows, and other media; two other partitions housed a backup of my internal hard drive and a bootable system for emergencies and maintenance.
After two and a half years of living within my means, the 330 GB started to become restrictive. My backup partition continually hits capacity, the boot partition is too small to perform a system upgrade, and I’m down to less than a gigabyte on my media partition. On my internal drive, I’ve been using my buffer space (used for virtual memory) for storage, slowing my computer’s daily operations.
Basically, I have no room for anything new.
To remedy this situation, I bought a snazzy new OWC Mercury Elite-AL Pro 7,200 RPM FireWire 800/400, USB 2.0, eSATA drive. The size? A whopping one terabyte! I’ll now have 1,330 GB of storage—four times what I’ve had for the past two years. Oh, it’ll be glorious!
What’s awesome is that the cost of storage goes down all the time. Back in 2006, I got the 250 GB drive for $211. Today, I bought four times the storage for only $225—$14 more. That’s a drop from 84¢/gigabyte to 23¢/gigabyte in just two years. Ridiculous.