Most, or perhaps all, of my attempts at writing something comprehensive and meaningful have failed lately, because it’s become very difficult to place my experiences and feelings into one overarching narrative. While at school, it’s somewhat easier, because I am in a routine and have obligations and schedules and interactions and reflections. In contrast, my Winter Break thus far has presented me with no obligations, no schedule, fewer interactions, and far too much sleep to allow much time for meaningful reflection on even the largely inconsequential events of my daily life.
In my attempt to break through this writer’s block, I am going to skip the narrative frame and just write. Hence, this entry will be random and maybe even, at times, incoherent. Rest assured, though, that those two qualities provide a very accurate description of my mental state at the moment.
So, without further ado…
The biggest thing to happen to me this break has been finding a girl. Things got off to a quick start, though they have a pretty long history. I’m really happy with how things are going, but am reluctant to get into details, because this just isn’t the place.
Another big thing has been that Josh has announced he’s leaving in a few weeks, moving to New Hampshire to seek work as a court bailiff. Added to the fact that Matt is now in Okinawa, Paul is still in South Korea, and Kris is back in Iraq, most of our Marshfield friends have left. Now there’s just a group of us all over the place: Mission Hill, Duxbury, Scituate, Marshfield, Milton, Rockland, Abington, and now New Hampshire. Aside from the fact that friends are no longer around, it’s also disappointing because Josh’s house was always our prime party spot. Large get-togethers will now be significantly more difficult to arrange, and friends will be seen less often.
I got my last grade back sometime in the last hours before it was due; I ended up getting three A-minuses and one B-plus. Not bad, overall… though, the B+ did bring my GPA down a tiny little bit.
My sleeping habits have become even more bizarre than before. The fact that it’s 9:46 AM right now—and I have yet to go to bed for the “night”—are a good indicator of what’s happened. Somehow, I’ve become accustomed to staying up even later than normal, until 10 or 11 o’clock in the morning. Then, I’ll sleep through most, if not all, of the daylight hours and wake up in time for dinner at 5:30 or 6:00. It’s pretty weird, even for me.
The trouble is, I have absolutely no reason to get out of bed in the morning… or afternoon, apparently. Most of my social activity doesn’t start until after dinner, and there’s nothing going on around the house during the day. Plus, it’s so warm and comfortable under the covers. It’s really hard to justify getting out of bed.
This, of course, has led to intense procrastination and a lack of any kind of productivity. It has also led to a lot of time in the early mornings during which I have nothing to do, because the rest of the normal world is asleep. Earlier during break, I used the time to play lots of Unreal Tournament, but I think I’m tiring of that a bit. Lately, I’ve been going through my collection of independent Canadian music (now at almost a thousand tracks) and picking out lines that I can incorporate into my Twitter status.
This is a huge waste of time. By the time I find a line and have it typed up, I realize that it’s not going to work: either it’s too negative, or it’s not reflective of my feelings, or it speaks of some vulnerability that I don’t think I have and thus don’t want to project, or it isn’t witty enough, or obscure enough, or it’s is so obscure that no one will understand it without some context. You get the idea.Going through a thousand songs and listening for good lines will suck up a lot of time. And it has!
I’ve found that I rarely get cold if I’m able to keep my feet warm.
I have been eating a lot of food. I woke up, ate a big “dinner” and then headed out to Chris’ to play some Grand Theft Auto on his new Xbox 360. When I got home at around 4 AM, I ate a bunch of cheese, all of our turkey (the lunch meat type), cookies, a third of an apple pie, much of a bag of Tostitos, and more cheese. I am like a vacuum when it comes to food, at least when it’s available. At school, I’m too cheap to buy food, so I only eat at mealtimes. At home, there is always food in the kitchen, so when I get hungry, I just eat, and eat, and don’t stop. It’s probably not very healthy, but it is quite satisfying.
Chris and I went old-school tonight and played Literati at Yahoo Games; I had to create a new Yahoo account, since I hadn’t used my old one since, oh, junior high. I called it Judy Muffinlicker. I already forget the password to it, but I do think that the answer to the security question was SASQUATCH.
I’m getting mildly sleepy, so I think it might be time to brush my teeth and go to bed. Good night, daylight!