The local newspapers always feature stories that make you smack the side of your head and wonder, How can people be so naïve? This morning’s perusal through the local media left me asking that familiar question.
First up: using FedEx to transport marijuana. Now, I’m no user of the stuff, but I imagine that maybe, if you need a small amount of weed quickly, FedEx might be a good way to transport it. Quick service, very little risk of them opening your package, and—if you seal it right—there’s probably very little chance that FedEx would suspect drugs being inside. Hell, you could get your pot overnight with probably very little risk.
But sending a 20-lb. brick of marijuana in thin plastic bags all the way to Marshfield… from California… via FedEx? You’ve got to be kidding me.
The cops say that the value of the seized weed is $50,000. I don’t think FedEx even insures shipments worth that much money. Looking at it that way, not only is this girl seriously troubled to think she could receive this kind of package with no risk… but the sender is pretty stupid, too. I imagine that if I had $50,000 worth of pot, I’d at least choose a more guaranteed method of transport. You know, have some respect for your marijuana. Or something.
Second: using email to send a bomb threat to your school principal. Now, I have nothing against Whitman-Hanson; indeed, compared to Rockland, W-H is even quite respectable. Plus, W-H girls were generally a lot hotter, and less trashy, than Rockland girls. But that doesn’t excuse their school system from failing someone so entirely. Couldn’t you have at least taught your students that when they send something through email, there’s almost always a way to trace it? Blame it on NCLB if you wish, but really, this is just an utter failure to provide the kind of real-world education that today’s students need.
Let’s have a brief moment of silence for the misfortunes of this Whitman-Hanson kid, since he’s looking at up to 20 years in prison if convicted. Maybe he can read about about the workings of the Interweb while sitting in his jail cell. Hooray, education!
All that aside, it takes a real dick to threaten to bomb his teachers, his friends, and his school. But come on. If you’re going to do it, at least take a lesson from the eminently more street-wise students of Abington, and don’t use email. Instead, go all Martin Luther-style and tack a note on the wall of the school bathroom letting everyone know that a bomb is about to explode.
The two photos are from The Enterprise, accessed through The Patriot Ledger’s site. They’re both distributed under a Creative Commons license.