It’s becoming light outside as I write this

Today was a pretty good day, as evidenced by the fact that I’m still awake at 5:43 AM and blogging.

It wasn’t as productive as I’d hoped in terms of schoolwork, but I still got a lot done. The bathroom is spic-and-span after I cleaned it for about an hour. Mirrors, sink, countertop, toilet (eww), tub, and floor are all spotless, thanks to a lot of Comet and some hardcore scrubbing. I also talked to my mom, and cleaned my room, too. One of the windows in my room doesn’t have a block on top of the bottom pane, so I could pull it down and clean the outside of the pane, which was equally exciting and gross; exciting because now one of my windows is crystal clear, gross because it took about five paper towels covered in solid blackness to get it to such a crystal clear state.

After cleaning the bathroom, Jeffrey, Claire, Janet, and I went to Gianni’s for dinner, where we were waited on by a kid named Matt who must’ve been about twelve years old. I ordered my first beer at a restaurant (a Heineken, for history’s sake) and almost finished it all. Janet and Claire had to help me finish the last third of it, though; I really just ordered it for the novelty of the whole experience—I despise the taste of beer and so couldn’t finish it.

Dinner was good; after it, we went to the liquor store. Inside, there were only two customers who I didn’t recognize as being Wesleyan students. Outside, there was a burly black policeman with an earpiece who looked quite scary.

After a long walk home with a heavy bag in my arms (the things I go through for friends), we watched Office Space with Laura and then went to Yumin’s citizenship party, which was rockin’.

It was in LoRise, so it was a bit of a walk, but there were lots of excellent people and a wide selection of beverages. Also, there was a distinct possibility of a hookup, only to be spoiled by the fact that I couldn’t find her by the time the party ended. ::Sigh:: She was so hot tonight, too.

I was more, uh, affected, than I’ve been at any time in the past, but I still think I maintain an excellent degree of responsibility and control in such situations. Walking home was an interesting feeling—every step a little party—but it’s amazing how durable my sense of direction is.

I (made a mistake and) called Erica as the party was winding down, and eventually reached her on my walk home. I learned tonight that she’s seeing someone named Nick who’s 25 years old. This is good. I can’t say I’m happy for her per se, but I can say that I’m happy that now I am finally forced to realize that she’s mackin’ someone else. It’s good for the whole realizing-that-what’s-done-is-really-over thing. Closure, or something like that.

So, all in all, tonight was pretty excellent. I made two confessions that I might regret in the morning, but I’ve come to realize that having regrets is no way to live happily, and so I doubt I’ll really find fault in my honesty when I wake up.

I should probably get some sleep now. It’s just so hard when it seems like everything’s going fine, yet there’s still something missing, something amiss that’s throwing everything off and leaving me unsure as to what’s coming down the pipeline. I think I could use a girlfriend, and more free time. And some sense of where I want to go in life, or at least what I want to do. And a reinvigorated pursuit of knowledge. I want to find something interesting.

Really, I want to find so much more, but it’s all becoming increasingly hard to articulate as I reach the six o’clock milepost. And so, friends, I do think bed is in my immediate future. Good night!

EDIT (2007-09-30 4:32 PM): Got rid of the Jack’s Mannequin lyrics in the title. Edited some remarks on Erica; fixed some errors and removed some unnecessary information.