I get a lot of text messages. I send a lot of text messages. And just about every one that’s arrived or been sent over the past few years is archived. I took a quick glance through the catalog tonight and here are some good ones that I pulled out.
- Most Anticlimactic
What does playing with you entail?
Received from Madeline W. on June 7, 2007 - Most Thankful for Enabling Sexual Activities
Thanks for showing me those dunes!
Sent to Josh M. on June 16, 2007 - Most Unflattering
lol. I just shat my brains out.
Sent to Josh M. on May 21, 2007 - Most Philosophical
Those Chinese are getting more desperate for slogans with each cookie they make.
Sent to Josh M. on April 28, 2007 - Most Honest
I already am wearing a backless gown and have peed into a cup. lol. How cliche.
Received from Claire K. on May 3, 2007 - Most Easily Misinterpreted
I finished your porn song.
Received from Chris G. on April 15, 2007 - Most Misleading
Haha.. You’re cute.
Received from Erica P. on April 14, 2007 - Oops! Most Misleading
Me misses you.
Received from Erica P. on April 14, 2007 - Most Confused Veiled Sexual Meaning
Much as I would like your cherry, it is yours to enjoy. I would rather see you eat it.
Sent to Erica P. on April 3, 2007 - Most Able to Still Confound Me
Stop! Collaborate and listen! Ice is back with a brand new edition, something, grabs ahold of me tightly, flow like a hawk both daily and nightly…
Received from Matt S. on February 5, 2007 - Most Unbelievable
I just witnessed a pizza delivery man drive over a lawn and back up then park in the driveway to deliver a pizza to the adjacent house!
Received from Chris G. on February 25, 2007 - Best Excuse for Missing a Girlfriend’s Call
Cake.. I just ate 1,575 calories of cinnamon buns.. I feel so sick! Sorry I missed your call; I was eating.
Sent to Erica P. on January 19, 2006 - Most Triumphant
At 7:53 PM, I finished the final episode of the final season of The X-Files.
Sent to Erica P. on January 14, 2006 - Most Painstakingly Composed
I wanna lick lick lick lick you from your head to your toes.. Ah ah, you make me so good I don’t wanna leave, so I gotta know know know know what what’s your fan-ta-ta-sy!
Sent to Erica P. on January 11, 2006
EDIT (2010-04-07): Removed last names and replaced them with initials so as to remove this blog entry from search engine results for friends’ names.
